Wednesday, May 27, 2009

River God


I was listening to this song by Nichole Nordeman today, and it has got to be one of my all time favorites!
Here are the lyrics:

Rolling River God

Little Stones are smooth

Only once the water passes through

So I am a stone

rough and grainy still

Trying to reconcile this river's chill


CHORUS:
But when I close my eyes

and feel You rushing by

I know that time brings change

and change takes time

And when the sunset comes

my prayer would be this one

that You might pick me up and notice that I am

just a little smoother in your hand


Sometimes raging wild

sometimes swollen high

never have I known this river dry

The deepest part of You

is where I want to stay

and feel the sharpest edges wash away


CHORUS:

And when I close my eyes

and feel you rushing by

I know that time brings change

and change takes time

And when the sunset comes

my prayer would be this one

that You might pick me up and notice that I am

just a little smoother in your hand


Aren't those lyrics beautiful?!?! I am such a rough stone... so in need of River God. Sometimes it is easy to lose my patience, and wonder why some days are so difficult to walk with Him. This helps me remember that "time brings change & change takes time". It's a battle... I can feel myself as a little stone, trying so hard not to be swept away with the current. Sometimes it would be so much easier to just go with the flow... to allow the challenges to just drag me along, instead of hunkering down and letting the sanctifying waves wash me smoother. Isn't it funny though... the times in you life when you do let go, and just go the easy route, you end up in a much worse place then you were when you were battling the current. I look back on those times in my life and wish I had clung like heck to the bottom of the river and let God smooth those rough edges.... wonder where I would be now. A more loving and helpful wife, a more patience daughter, a more caring sister? I could go on for hours thinking about that. However, I know that the Lord even planned those days. He knew when I would give up.. and He also knows how it will help me in the future, and that it makes me grateful for His grace.


"And when the sunset comes, my prayer would be this one, that you might pick me up and notice that I am... just a little smoother in Your hand"

Monday, May 25, 2009

See Ya Memorial Day! :(


I tell you, it's AMAzing what a difference one extra day can do for your weekend! It was a great weekend, and actually felt pretty long! I am not really dreading work tomorrow! I mean, it still isn't particularly exciting... but it doesn't feel terrible to think about.

We had a wonderful 3 days! We had Cayden's b-day party Saturday, then took it easy Saturday night and watched "Taken". We saw it in the Theater, but Chris' brother had it so we borrowed it and it was just as good the second time :) We also finally saw "State of Play" with Russell Crowe and Ben Affleck, great flick! We have been wanting to catch that one for a while now, so we went yesterday afternoon. It always seems like a good idea to not eat anything and just have popcorn for "dinner".... then afterward you feel terrible... not because you are totally stuffed (well that's part of it) but it's not exactly like popcorn - smothered in movie theater butter I might add - has any nutritional value or can even be considered substantial! Won't ever be doing that again.... however, I think I recall saying that last time ;)

Today was a productive one... after a wonderful family brunch at mom's, we came home, bathed the dogs in between the spurts of rain, and then totally cleaned the house. It was needing it big time. So were the dogs. The combo of the two left us with smelly dogs and a smelly house. Not a good combo ;) So, now are dogs are fluffy and clean, and our house smells like linen & sky (thanks to febreeze ;)).

Then we went to the Meadow's and had a nice dinner with Jim, Brenda, & J. Good times! We ate out on the back porch on their new outdoor dining table, so pottery barn! The weather was perfect for it!

Now, we are anxiously awaiting the season premier of Jon & Kate + 8. I am hoping to hear what's ACTUALLY going on and stop having to decide what I do and don't believe from the tabloids.


We'll see I guess!!!

Saturday, May 23, 2009

My Nephew's Birthday Party!!!


Today was my nephew Cayden's 2nd birthday party! It was so much fun!!! Who knew a 2 year olds birthday party could be so entertaining?!? I guess when you love the child they could pretty much just run around in circles and you would sit and watch all day! :) That's the way I am with Cayden, I could watch him all day long! LOVE that boy! He was SUPER cute today!!! He was SO funny opening presents... he kept saying WOW! Lol! Is also really loves Thomas the Train, and got a HUGE train set from his grandparents & he was IN LOVE! It was so neat to watch him play with it... his eyes were so bright! Little man Em is growing up too! It seems like he has doubled in weight since the last time we saw him! He is just precious!

So thankful for family!

Friday, May 22, 2009

This And That

Ok, so the past couple of days have been pretty uneventful. I did, however, get my hair cut! I had been growing it out ever since Annie & Matt got engaged so I could do something different with it for the wedding. So, now that the wedding is over, it was WAY overdue! I went back to the stacked bob. I had a gift card for the Aveda Salon in Woodstock Salon Vanessa. She did a pretty good job. I may go back and have her make some adjustments though cause I am pretty picky ;)
Last night I went out to eat with 3 of my fav girls! Two of my best friends from highschool and one of my best friends from college, who happens to be sisters with the one from highschool. For those of you who know, Lisa & Leslie Lance, and Angela Pastore. LOVE those girls! So, fun to be around, and we always have a crazy fun time!
Lisa is now the Director of Women's Ministry at North Point, and asked me if I was interested in leading a highschool small group. Of course I am! I was involved in Inside Out (the highschool ministry there) when I was in highschool, and have been thinking and praying about it since we decided for sure we were going to be members at North Point. I am super excited about the opportunity to pour my life into younger girls again! Not only will I be blessed so much from their relationships in my life, but they will teach me as much or more than I will teach them about Gods love and grace. I also definitely feel like the times in my life when I am walking with God the closest is when I am responsible for leading others. I dig into the word so much more agressively. It's so amazing what God can do in your life through that type of studying! I am also really excited because I think it all is just a total answer to prayers! Chris and I have been in sort of a weird place since up until recently we still didn't really know where we wanted to be members. We are in need of community, to feel like we are a part of the body of Christ & not simply existing in it. We both have a need to serve, not to mention it is our calling as believers. So, it was just so perfect the timing of it all. That Lisa got the job there, so I had a connection as far as someone who knew me on the inside of the ministry, and that they would be placing there new students just a week from now! Chris is also talking to the Men's Director about leading a boys group! Which makes me super excited because I feel like that would make Luke feel alot more comfortable about coming with us, and getting involved!
To become a member at North Point you have to have been baptised or be baptised. I was only dedicated as a baby in the Methodist church. This is something I have always felt like I needed to do. I haven't done a ton of studying on it, but all I really need to know is that Christ did it. I want to mimic Him as much as I possibly can in my own life. I also think that since I really didn't come to an understanding of Gods Grace and His reason for sending Christ until I was older, I feel like I need to publicly profess that knowledge! So, looks like I will be getting baptised! I will let you know when it's scheduled, I would love to have friends and family there to support me!
Time FLIES!!!! My nephew Cayden is turning 2 on Monday!!! I can't believe it has been 2 whole years since that bundle of joy entered the world! He has brought a whole new dynamic to our family! I love that little man!! He can make me laugh like no other, and then in another second jerk those tears right out of me when he looks at his little brother & is just the sweetest thing! I never expected when Britni was pregnant with him that I could love him this much! I mean, I knew I would love him... alot... but this is like crazy! It makes me nervous, and excited all at the same time for the love that I will once hold for my own children! God willing we are able to have them. Anyway, they have a fun Elmo birthday party planned for him tomorrow that I can't wait to go to! Not only to see everybody... but the food theme is MEXICAN!!!! ;) I know.... I'm a freak. You would think I would be sick of it after eating leftover Moe's from the wedding all week. Nope... I even had it last night with Les, Lis and Ang! I think it's because my mom craved it when she was pregnant with me.... it's the only explanation I have.

Well, my hubby is back with the chinese! Can I just say that I LOVE that man!!! Not cause he brings me food... had to make that clear ;) I love him because he is amazing! He is so thoughtful, gentle, loving, the best friend I have ever known... not just to me, but to anyone he is friends with. He is just a wonderful man, and has been the stability I needed over the pas 3 years. Can you believe it has been almost 3 years!?!?!? The best of my life!!!

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

My Little Sis' Wedding!


Ok, so this past weekend was a big one in my family! The last of the Blackwelder girls was married off! It was kind of an odd thing for me. While of course I felt so much joy & happiness for Annie & Matt, and am so excited for them.. it was kinda sad in a weird way. It really has nothing to do with them at all, but more to do with the fact that it sort of closes a chapter in our lives as a family. Three little girls are no longer three little girls, they are three married women. For some reason that fact just hit my funny. Like out of nowhere I realized how fast time flies, and how precious each moment is. Let me just tell you I cerished each little moment this weekend. I wanted to make sure I had every tiny detail logged in my memory for the long haul. These events don't happen everyday you know ;)

So, it started with thursday night, Annie came over for us to do another trial run on the hair. We had such a great time just talking and laughing. Mom came with her and it was just a fun little moment of girl time before the rush of wedding activites. They left and I needed to finish putting together my piece of the bridesmaids gift we were making her. Each bridesmaid put together a scrapbook page and then we put them all together in a scrapbook and gave it to her at the bridesmaids luncheon. When I sat down to make this page for her I had no idea how emotional it would make me. Just looking through all these old pictures of us & new ones too. Thinking back to all the times we had together, and the fact that this is someone who has truly been there my WHOLE life! I thought about all the times I needed someone, to cry with, laugh with, be silly with... just be silent with. It was always her. Of course I had my two best friends, Hannah & Kathleen, my other sister Lauren, and some other friends who came and went. But when I was putting this page together, I had Annie on my mind. I thought of all those times she would follow me around, no matter what I was doing just so she could be with me. All those nights I had friends come and spend the night and she would just come in and watch, she was just happy to be there. Then the thoughts come through my head of later in our life, when she was there the night I got engaged, and she screamed and cried with me. I can always count on her to share an emotion with me (not usually crying, cause if you know her, that is a rare thing), but at least to sympathize.

Anyway, I finished the page and tried to get some sleep. I couldn't. I laid there thinking about life, and about our family. Was there something I could've done differently, better, as a sister, daughter, friend. Have I loved enough, given enough, been there enough. After praying for a long while I finally drifted off.

6:00 came VERY early the next morning, but I was too excited to care! Annie was picking me up and we were headed to wedding central! We went to Carrollton for her to get an airbrush tan, then stopped to grab some breakfast. We must have been in that Chick-fil-a for an hour or longer... just talking. I couldn't have planned a last "time alone" better. It was perfect. We talked about our men, our parents, our jobs - or lack thereof ;) & most importantly we talked about Gods Love & Grace. It was such a sweet time of fellowship that was long overdue!

When we got back out to the car Annie had 5 missed calls from Matt! She tried to call him back but no answer. When she finally got him it was his mom telling her they were at the hospital! Matt had a kidney stone. Of course... isn't that what usually happens 2 days before your wedding?!?!? OMG, we were freaking out! THankfully he passed, and without too much pain too! His mother had him doing yardwork that afternoon.... seriously! That night we met up with my mom and granparents and had some dinner, then we headed home to put ribbons on programs.

The next morning the rest of the bridesmaids and grandmothers arrived for the luncheon. It was at a sweet little cafe in Newnan. We had a great time, and the food was fresh and light... what every bride/bridesmaid needs the day before the wedding ;) Then it was off to the salon to get our nails done! Such a fun time! I had a great moment with Lauren there as well. We haven't always been so close, but I think we are on our way. I think we both realize that we have missed out on alot, and have some regrets about growing up at odds with eachother. I hope that will all change. I love her so much!

Then we went home and got ready for the rehearsal. It went well, but we were all worried about the rain as it had been raining all day. The dinner was amazing!! I gave a speach... or tried to give one... the first words out of my mouth sounded more like choking than speaking. Well, we had just gotten done watching the video of their engagement... what do you expect!?!?! ;)

After dinner we went home, I finished the centerpieces and we watchedd Bride Wars... perfect for the night before a wedding, gotta watch the cheesy, girly, wedding movie! Then we all cashed out!

WEDDING DAY!!!

Rain, rain and more rain. NO, it can't be!!! This is the one day that we needed it NOT to rain, and it just didn't stop. So, we made the best of it. We took pictures with cute umbrella's and stuck out our muddy shoes. The bride was breathtaking! I have honestly never seen her look so beautiful! The hair was perfect, the dress was even more perfect and she was glowing!! Of course I was tearing up the whole day... the problem was... I had to sing in the ceremony! So, I was trying all day to think about keeping it together for that. I didn't want to ruin the communion by sobbing through the entire song. So, I kept praying that God would just cut my emotions off for those 3 minutes. So, we decide to have the ceremony outside even though it's sprinkling. As my sister (the bride) said, "I paid to have our wedding in the garden, I could've gotten married uner a tent anywhere". So true. So, we got misted on. No biggie. It was still beautiful. So, I am crying the whole time she's walking down the aisle, and the whole time they are saying her vows, especially when she says hers, cause she could hardly get them out. And when do I have to sing? As soon as Annie finishes her vows... great! I was a blubbering mess. The second I took the mic in my hand it was like it just got turned off. The only problem then was I was shivering... it was so cold! But, I made it through! As soon as I returned to my spot... the water works started again! So totally God. He knew how badly I wanted that song to be great. I hope it was.

The rest of the night was a blur, but a good blur! I cried through all the dances... especially when she danced with our dad, because she surprised him with the song they danced to. It was a song he and our mom used to sing to us at bedtime. So emotional. I ate the biggest fattest Moe's buritto I think ever possible... it had to be like a triple homewrecker!! I was starving, and you know how I am about mexican. Then I danced the night away with Hannah & Kathleen and occassionally the bride & my husband :)


It was the perfect weekend, and not one I will soon forget. I love you Matt & Annie!

Trying this blogging thing on for size...

Ok, so wanted to see what this whole blogging thing was about. I have always thought it would be a cool way to keep friends and family up to date with what's going on in our life! I'm at work right now, so can't really write an actual blog today, but I will definitely write more later. :)